


Empty Womb Syndrome

by LovelyPlantPrincess



Series: Live a Little [5]
Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Explicit Language, F/M, Implied/Referenced Pregnancy Fetish Pornography, Jealousy, Marital Disagreements, Verbal Disagreements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 12:21:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6657541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyPlantPrincess/pseuds/LovelyPlantPrincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Empty Nest Syndrome is a feeling of loneliness or depression that occurs among parents after children grow up and leave home.</p><p>But what about when there are no kids in the house in the first place? What about when you want children? What about when you feel envy, bitterness, and anger? What is it called then? </p><p>Otto finds out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Empty Womb Syndrome

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, my canon full name for Otto is Otis. Fight me.

**Otis 'Otto' Delaney**

Hunched over the bar, grinning wide, and toasting to his best friend’s soon-to-be arrival, Otto suddenly feels a sharp pang of envy stab deep in his chest.

He had been getting that feeling for a long while now - he’d been silently coveting his fellow members and friends children for almost two years at this point, and the bitterness he was feeling was only getting worse. It seemed as if while the Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club itself gained more of a reputation and became more recognized by other clubs, the members of the MC matured and rooted themselves. Every time Otto turned his head, another old lady was announcing a pregnancy or planning a baby shower for someone.

And Otto had felt the jealousy of it every time that someone new made an announcement and it wasn’t his wife.

It happened first with little Jackson. The eight months leading up to his birth, he’d felt nothing but happiness for his brother - as a good friend should, of course. They’d celebrated almost every other night after Gemma told her husband about it - mostly out of genuine joy and excitement for when the little boy came into the world, but partially to rub it in Gemma’s face that they could have alcohol and she couldn’t. Everything had been good, Otto had felt nothing but radiance at the prospect of a new baby.

But the day Gemma’s water broke… something inside of his mind _changed_.

He remembered Luann ringing him on the phone, her voice the very picture of panic as she said, _Gemma’s going into labor. Tell Clay to get his ass to St. Thomas._ **_Now_** _._

But most importantly, he remembered that flicker of _jealousy_ . It was there and gone before he could think too much about it at the time, but once he and Luann were safely home, it was _all_ he could think about. Mostly because he realized had been jealous of _Clay_. From the moment on the phone up until sitting there in the waiting room, waiting on the verdict on whether or not his nephew and best friend would be alright. He had wanted Luann to be in there, bringing the life _they_ created into the world. For just one nanosecond, he wished Luann and Gemma could switch lives.

It had been a year since Jackson’s birth however, and he hadn’t found himself being too jealous of his best friend’s little family for awhile. No, there were other neighbors to covet. A prospect with a three-year-old daughter and another kid on the way, two members that got locked up on trumped charges - one with a pair of gorgeous twin girls, and the other with a pregnant wife living two states over. Every time someone wearing a cut strode into the Clubhouse, announcing their up and coming arrival, Otto felt that jealousy and hatred burn a little deeper in the pit of his stomach.

He doesn’t tell Luann about it though.

He knows he could - and that he probably _should_. Luann was all about communication - she had read a book on the reasons marriages tend to fail, and the biggest theme of the book was that married couples don’t communicate well - and if there was a problem, she wanted her husband to be able to talk to her about it.

But he also knows it would never happen. Mostly because Luann isn’t behind the camera yet, and there was no way he would let her do pregnancy fetish porn with his child in her womb. Otto knows better than to stop asking her to do videos as well - unlike Gemma and Colleen, who were content to sit back and take care of the house and be _good old ladies_ , Luann wanted to be able to make her own money. She didn’t like the idea of depending on her husband, and she enjoyed the cash that making videos brought in. There was no way she’d put working on hold for nine months to give birth to a baby - no matter how much he wanted it.

Besides - it would be unfair to ask her to drop everything in her life just to appease _his_ wants. Especially considering that she had dropped everything in New Jersey four years ago to run away with him - it’d be selfish to ask her to repeat history.

Still, as Otto sits there, listening to Clay tell Tig all the wonders of fatherhood - and the not-so-great parts too - he can’t help but feel angry and _extremely_ envious.

“God - do either of you talk about anything else? You sound like pussies,” Otto blurts suddenly, while Clay is the middle of his story. Both men to turn to look at him with raised eyebrows and extreme confusion - up until now, Otto had gone along with their conversations merrily. Even occasionally pitching in stories about his siblings from childhood.

Otto scoffs under their silent scrutinization, drums his fingers against the bar counter and lifts his glass of bourbon to his lips before he gruffs out, “Just sharin’ a little truth with ya.”

“Hey, douchetool,” Tig begins, his tone suggesting he’s already annoyed with the coming conversation before it’s even begun. “Who crawled up your asshole and chewed on your scrotum?”

Clay snickers under his breath and Otto rolls his eyes - his grip tightening a bit on the tumbler. His lips turn down into a scowl, but he remains silent. He wasn’t exactly known as the one to start fights - surprisingly enough, he was the brains behind most things - and even if he _was,_ it wasn’t a good idea to go around trading blows with _Tig_ of all people.

After receiving no response from Otto, Tig shrugs his shoulders boredly. “If I were you, I’d just wait until Luann feels the time is right. Sitting here and stewing in envy is just going to piss _you_ off - especially if you’re never going to tell her you want a kid. It doesn’t matter, but whatever you do - don’t take that shit out on _us. Dickweed._ ”

Otto’s scowl fades and his anger ebbs into surprise at his best friend’s words. He stares to the curly haired man with obvious shock, but neither Tig nor Clay seem to be fazed by the estimation. If anything, they seem bored by the conversation - as if they’d rehearsed it a thousand times over, and could have it in their sleep.

“How’d you know-?”

“That you were being pissy over not being a daddy?” Tig teases, leaning heavily on the bar counter. “You’re translucent, Otto. You sat there scowling at us for the entire conversation.”

“As for your wifey issues - why don’t you chip in to helping her set up her own porn studio?” Clay suggests, pouring himself another glass of whiskey. “So _if_ she gets pregnant, she doesn’t have to worry about it because she’s behind the camera _anyways_. _And_ she doesn’t have to stop making her own money, because she’ll be producing and directing. It’s a win-win.”

Otto considers this for a moment. Clay was right - the worst case scenario was that her business couldn’t get off it’s feet, and she had to go back to working in front of the camera. But that would take at least one or two years to be able to evaluate - which is plenty time to cure his _empty womb syndrome_.

“Speaking of Luann…” Tig mutters, his eyes flitting to the cameras they’d only recently installed for protection. Luann, Gemma and Colleen are all making their way to the Clubhouse - bags filled to the brim with groceries in their arms. Gemma awkwardly tries to hoist Jackson onto her hip while simultaneously carrying in a few bags, and once Clay sees that he’s up and out of his chair.

Tig and Otto watch on camera as he meets up with the girls - immediately plucking most of the bags from their arms and dropping a quick kiss to his son’s forehead. The girls follow him inside, and Colleen briefly stops by the bar to give Tig a kiss on the cheek before making a beeline for the kitchen.

Otto can’t help but stare at her belly while he can - at the slightly curve slowly beginning to form beneath her black t-shirt. For some reason, all he can think about is how in a few months that small curve will be an entire girth. He wonders if Luann would be able to handle that type of weight… she had a small frame, and he’d seen Gemma’s belly in her final month of pregnancy. Gemma had barely been able to handle it - and she had a taller figure than his wife did. Maybe they _didn’t_ need kids.

Otto is pulled away from that thought by Luann sidling up to the barstool next to him and wrapping her arms around his midsection from behind.

“Thanks for the help with the groceries, ya big oaf,” she teases, resting her chin on his shoulder. Otto laughs into his bourbon and swivels around the stool so he can kiss her.

“No problem - I just do what I can to help,” he says, eliciting a girlish giggle from her. Luann drapes her arms lazily over his shoulders and Otto maneuvers her so that she’s standing directly between his legs. When they kiss again, it’s passionate bordering a little on pornographic and Otto almost forgets about the thing he wants to talk to her about.

Beside them, Tig makes a disgusted gagging sound and Clay rolls his eyes.

“C’mon guys,” he says, holding up Jackson for them to see. The one-year-old kicks his legs in the air wildly, his tiny little sock feet jerking awkwardly around. Three of the fingers from his right hand are shoved in his mouth, and his blue eyes stare directly at Otto and Luann - who are trying to repress their laughter. “Keep it PG - I got my kid here.”

“How many times have I told you _not_ to hold him like that?!” Gemma’s voice rings from the kitchen.

“You can’t even see me!” Clay calls back indignantly.

“You’re holding him in the air with your hands under his arms knowing damn well that he’s _extremely ticklish_ and if he starts wiggling around, you could drop him!” Clay narrows his eyes in her direction and mutters something about x-ray vision before he settles Jackson back into his lap - removing the baby’s fingers from his mouth and replacing them with a set of colorful plastic keys.

“And _that_ is why I don’t want kids,” Luann tuts. “I read that they cause extreme marital issues in a once happy couple. I definitely don’t want that for me and Otto.”

While Clay defends his marriage - _“We do_ **_not_ ** _, have marital issues, Luann.”_ \- Otto’s heart and stomach simultaneously sink to his feet. She didn’t want kids - plain and simple. It wasn’t just her work getting in the way, it wasn’t just her need to be independant preventing her from settling down. She simply did not want children.

And Otto loves her more than he loves the idea of being a father. He wouldn’t dare bring up something in an accidental guilt trip, nor would he force her to do something she doesn’t want. He’d heard stories of postpartum depression coming from women giving birth to babies they didn’t want, and he wouldn’t subject his wife to any of that.

Sensing the obvious tension Luann’s admission has caused, Tig leans across the bar and gives his friend a comforting squeeze on the shoulder. Otto ignores him however - choosing instead to watch Luann interact with Jackson.

He wouldn’t have a son or daughter, and that was fine. He would take what he could get and be satisfied.

After all, he got lucky and married the porn star.


End file.
